Language seems to have lost its true sense and words are spoken with a second thought to what they truly mean. Is this because nobody reads anymore? Possibly, since television, video games and audio books have taken over what should be a staple in our lives. Words are more powerful than you think and spurting out easy words with no meaning or action attached to them is a twice told fool's tale of moronic incapabilities. Mean what you say because when you're on the other end of someone's pie hole you expect them to act accordingly to the proper verbiage they've chosen. Whether you're playing bridge with a hooker in Bangkok or seducing the pool boy, we have a right to believe what we're told instead of living a life of paranoia and doubt. Mel Gibson will not come to your rescue on this one.
"Thank you" Remember that one? Where are your manners? Unless you were raised by a pack of hyenas then you should be slapped across the head with a crock pot for forgetting these tiny words. The Napoleon syndrome has expired. Its shelf life is over. If Bette Davis caught you being ungrateful she would throw her whiskey in your face and demolish you under thirty seconds with her words, which I guarantee you she actually means.
"I forgive you" Are you a member of the Catholic church? Unless you enjoy killing people because you've been brainwashed into believing your neighbor should be murdered because he reads Stephen King, then you have no business judging others or deciding whether or not they've been punished enough. Tolerance is mandatory and if you can't handle it then I suggest you read "The Crucible" and throw your pride down the drain once in a while.
"I love you" My favorite! Nowadays, no one knows if they're loved or actually despised. With all the plotting and trickery amongst us who knows if you're living with Jekyll and Hide. Are you loved because of all the squats you've been doing at the gym or your bank account? I bet they mean it when they say "I love you" in Kenya. Maybe we should all live in huts where belongings and "nice racks" are a thing of the past and see who really loves you then. When all you have are some fava beans and chianti.
" I was wrong" Well, if you pushed your Aunt Myrtle down the stairs because she bought Legos instead of Nintendo for Christmas then of course you're wrong. It's not her fault you've decided to become a sociopath in the making.It will not be the death of you if you stop talking so much and listen more often. Your opinion and the action sometimes attached to it may only make sense to you and Charles Manson. So, go tell your girlfriend you're sorry and that you were wrong for cooking her poodle for dinner. Don't worry. I'm sure prison is homier then they portray it to be on "Prison Break."
" You are beautiful" Verbal seduction is the way to a woman's heart. I've said it time and time again. Make love to a woman's ears and you will be baffled with the results. Do you want a girlfriend who wears sweatpants all day and watches reruns of "Taxicab Confessions" because that's exciting as it gets for her ears? Speak up. Silence is not golden in this area and trust me, a dry slip n' slide is agonizing.
"I'm here for you" One would hope, except when the turnips hit the fan most people run for the closest bar, even the ones that are frequented by a potential axe murderer by the name of Larry playing darts alone. It's better to get chopped up then listening to some schmuck's problems, right? Funnily enough, when our little fairytale comes screeching to a halt and turns into a scene from "Aliens", we want the world to shriek with us and hold our hand. Sorry to burst your bubble of self-importance, but the day you put someone else before your pockmarked ego then Lana Turner will pay you a visit you won't forget. I guarantee your bell will be ringing ore than twice, if you catch my drift.
Some things are better left unsaid but others should be shouted from rooftops and heart-shaped jacuzzis. An agile tongue is worth a thousand "Taxicab Confessions".
Till next time...
No comments:
Post a Comment