Language seems to have lost its true sense and words are spoken with a second thought to what they truly mean. Is this because nobody reads anymore? Possibly, since television, video games and audio books have taken over what should be a staple in our lives. Words are more powerful than you think and spurting out easy words with no meaning or action attached to them is a twice told fool's tale of moronic incapabilities. Mean what you say because when you're on the other end of someone's pie hole you expect them to act accordingly to the proper verbiage they've chosen. Whether you're playing bridge with a hooker in Bangkok or seducing the pool boy, we have a right to believe what we're told instead of living a life of paranoia and doubt. Mel Gibson will not come to your rescue on this one.
"Thank you" Remember that one? Where are your manners? Unless you were raised by a pack of hyenas then you should be slapped across the head with a crock pot for forgetting these tiny words. The Napoleon syndrome has expired. Its shelf life is over. If Bette Davis caught you being ungrateful she would throw her whiskey in your face and demolish you under thirty seconds with her words, which I guarantee you she actually means.
"I forgive you" Are you a member of the Catholic church? Unless you enjoy killing people because you've been brainwashed into believing your neighbor should be murdered because he reads Stephen King, then you have no business judging others or deciding whether or not they've been punished enough. Tolerance is mandatory and if you can't handle it then I suggest you read "The Crucible" and throw your pride down the drain once in a while.
"I love you" My favorite! Nowadays, no one knows if they're loved or actually despised. With all the plotting and trickery amongst us who knows if you're living with Jekyll and Hide. Are you loved because of all the squats you've been doing at the gym or your bank account? I bet they mean it when they say "I love you" in Kenya. Maybe we should all live in huts where belongings and "nice racks" are a thing of the past and see who really loves you then. When all you have are some fava beans and chianti.
" I was wrong" Well, if you pushed your Aunt Myrtle down the stairs because she bought Legos instead of Nintendo for Christmas then of course you're wrong. It's not her fault you've decided to become a sociopath in the making.It will not be the death of you if you stop talking so much and listen more often. Your opinion and the action sometimes attached to it may only make sense to you and Charles Manson. So, go tell your girlfriend you're sorry and that you were wrong for cooking her poodle for dinner. Don't worry. I'm sure prison is homier then they portray it to be on "Prison Break."
" You are beautiful" Verbal seduction is the way to a woman's heart. I've said it time and time again. Make love to a woman's ears and you will be baffled with the results. Do you want a girlfriend who wears sweatpants all day and watches reruns of "Taxicab Confessions" because that's exciting as it gets for her ears? Speak up. Silence is not golden in this area and trust me, a dry slip n' slide is agonizing.
"I'm here for you" One would hope, except when the turnips hit the fan most people run for the closest bar, even the ones that are frequented by a potential axe murderer by the name of Larry playing darts alone. It's better to get chopped up then listening to some schmuck's problems, right? Funnily enough, when our little fairytale comes screeching to a halt and turns into a scene from "Aliens", we want the world to shriek with us and hold our hand. Sorry to burst your bubble of self-importance, but the day you put someone else before your pockmarked ego then Lana Turner will pay you a visit you won't forget. I guarantee your bell will be ringing ore than twice, if you catch my drift.
Some things are better left unsaid but others should be shouted from rooftops and heart-shaped jacuzzis. An agile tongue is worth a thousand "Taxicab Confessions".
Till next time...
Showing posts with label words. Show all posts
Showing posts with label words. Show all posts
Friday, December 16, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT
Have you ever felt a certain way in relationships but after rummaging your brain for the right word were left unsatisfied? It's almost like reminiscing about a hearty meal at Taco Bell? You're left alone, in pain and in dire need of emergency services. Well, ladies and gents of this uncivilized Western world, there are actually words for these fleeting emotions that visit us from time to time, except they're in a different language. The foreigners do seem to be a notch above us when it comes to matters of the heart.
Yuanfen (Chinese) is a relationship which has been brought together by fate or destiny. Principles of predetermination are very important in Chinese culture. Jack and Rose from "Titanic" are examples of this complex concept. They were destined to be together, star-crossed lovers like Romeo and Juliet...except they pretty much all die at the end. If it feels like fate, should we run for the hills? Would it be safer to hibernate in a lion's den then to let cupid shoot his arrow at us?
Cafune (Portuguese) means to run one's fingers through someone's hair. When was the last time anyone did this? In a romantic comedy starring Julia Roberts? A hundred years ago when chivalry was still a popular attribute? It's a nice thought but this gesture is so rare, maybe in hotter, tropical climates it's common. The sun does make one mushy-minded and we tend to ingest too much alcohol and forget our inhibitions...perhaps it's time for a vacation. A desired gesture unless it's the serial killer you've let into your boudoir and he has an ice pick or a machete down his pants. Think of it as a Kinder's surprise.
Retrouvailles (French) is the happiness of meeting again after a long time. The French live to eat, drink, go on vacation or strike and have sex. Meeting someone of the opposite sex, unless it's a pimply Uncle or a hairy, opinionated grandmother, usually means you will be pouring Bordeaux down each other's throats and rolling around in your birthday suits at the Esmerelda Hotel (one of Paris's best kept secrets I might add). I think the last time I saw any of this going on was in "Love Actually" and that was... I can't recall when that was. I must have been at the Esmerelda when that came out in theaters.
La Douleur Exquise (French)..aaah, again the French have come to our rescue. This means the heart-wrenching pain of wanting someone you can't have. A favorite pastime for most, I think. Wanting what we can't have and then once we get it are indubitably disappointed and bored. Like the time you wanted to marry Sasha the stripper, fast forward one year later and you're the one who's barefoot and pregnant in the cell next to Hannibal Lector. How nice it is to be a sadist sometimes? In this case, love is blind and for the wrong reasons, or else you wouldn't be being spoon fed by a pissed off nurse. But you get what you pay for, at least that's what they say.
Koi No Yokan (Japanese) is the little butterflies you get when you know you will fall in love with someone. This is by far the most prosperous time in a relationship since you haven't slept together yet...make them sweat a little before you serve dinner people. Everyone has stars in their eyes and daydreams about the other, anticipating the moment when their bodies will come together, in both senses. A magical time unless you're Forest Whitaker in "The Crying Game" and Boy George is whispering sweet nothings in your ear. Go with the flow or jump out the window? Who knows, one zipper being lowered could make you discover all kinds of interesting things about yourself.
Ya'aburnee (Arabic) is a declaration of one's hope that they'll die before their loved one. This seems to be a popular one except the other way around. Wives seem to really enjoy putting arsenic or other innocent household items masquerading as cleaning products in their husband's dinner. Unless you're hanging out in Tibet with a couple of monks who don't fear death, you better make your own dinner. Wouldn't want that special someone to get any funny ideas now would we?
Saudade (Portuguese) is the longing we feel for someone who is gone or lost. Wouldn't it be nice if we were decent enough to feel this without death, kidnapping or hostage situations being involved? I guess it's true when they say "you never knew what you had until it's gone." Vampires and leprechauns seem to be the only romantic heroes left. They fight for what they love most and unfortunately I don't see any frolicking around in my backyard.
Till next time...
Yuanfen (Chinese) is a relationship which has been brought together by fate or destiny. Principles of predetermination are very important in Chinese culture. Jack and Rose from "Titanic" are examples of this complex concept. They were destined to be together, star-crossed lovers like Romeo and Juliet...except they pretty much all die at the end. If it feels like fate, should we run for the hills? Would it be safer to hibernate in a lion's den then to let cupid shoot his arrow at us?
Cafune (Portuguese) means to run one's fingers through someone's hair. When was the last time anyone did this? In a romantic comedy starring Julia Roberts? A hundred years ago when chivalry was still a popular attribute? It's a nice thought but this gesture is so rare, maybe in hotter, tropical climates it's common. The sun does make one mushy-minded and we tend to ingest too much alcohol and forget our inhibitions...perhaps it's time for a vacation. A desired gesture unless it's the serial killer you've let into your boudoir and he has an ice pick or a machete down his pants. Think of it as a Kinder's surprise.
Retrouvailles (French) is the happiness of meeting again after a long time. The French live to eat, drink, go on vacation or strike and have sex. Meeting someone of the opposite sex, unless it's a pimply Uncle or a hairy, opinionated grandmother, usually means you will be pouring Bordeaux down each other's throats and rolling around in your birthday suits at the Esmerelda Hotel (one of Paris's best kept secrets I might add). I think the last time I saw any of this going on was in "Love Actually" and that was... I can't recall when that was. I must have been at the Esmerelda when that came out in theaters.
La Douleur Exquise (French)..aaah, again the French have come to our rescue. This means the heart-wrenching pain of wanting someone you can't have. A favorite pastime for most, I think. Wanting what we can't have and then once we get it are indubitably disappointed and bored. Like the time you wanted to marry Sasha the stripper, fast forward one year later and you're the one who's barefoot and pregnant in the cell next to Hannibal Lector. How nice it is to be a sadist sometimes? In this case, love is blind and for the wrong reasons, or else you wouldn't be being spoon fed by a pissed off nurse. But you get what you pay for, at least that's what they say.
Koi No Yokan (Japanese) is the little butterflies you get when you know you will fall in love with someone. This is by far the most prosperous time in a relationship since you haven't slept together yet...make them sweat a little before you serve dinner people. Everyone has stars in their eyes and daydreams about the other, anticipating the moment when their bodies will come together, in both senses. A magical time unless you're Forest Whitaker in "The Crying Game" and Boy George is whispering sweet nothings in your ear. Go with the flow or jump out the window? Who knows, one zipper being lowered could make you discover all kinds of interesting things about yourself.
Ya'aburnee (Arabic) is a declaration of one's hope that they'll die before their loved one. This seems to be a popular one except the other way around. Wives seem to really enjoy putting arsenic or other innocent household items masquerading as cleaning products in their husband's dinner. Unless you're hanging out in Tibet with a couple of monks who don't fear death, you better make your own dinner. Wouldn't want that special someone to get any funny ideas now would we?
Saudade (Portuguese) is the longing we feel for someone who is gone or lost. Wouldn't it be nice if we were decent enough to feel this without death, kidnapping or hostage situations being involved? I guess it's true when they say "you never knew what you had until it's gone." Vampires and leprechauns seem to be the only romantic heroes left. They fight for what they love most and unfortunately I don't see any frolicking around in my backyard.
Till next time...
Friday, July 16, 2010
EMPTY WORDS
I've recently realized that you can't trust people's words anymore. It seems that they will either tell you what you want to hear, lie to avoid confrontation, make you believe they're something they're not or sugarcoat everything to keep you around because in some bizarre way they want you around. These are just a few examples and I'm not saying everyone is like this but a good portion of people, whether they realize it or not, sadly are.
People have stopped saying what they mean and their actions only reinforce how dishonest they are being with themselves and with you. A man will tell a woman he loves her but treat her like an acquaintance or a friend will say I'll always help you and runaway when you need them. What are we supposed to believe when words seem to have no meaning anymore? We hide behind our computer screens and Iphones as if they were armor. Nobody is capable of making a phone call instead sending empty messages filled with empty words.
If you want to have valuable relationships with people don't define them by what they say but by their actions. We live in a difficult world that's constantly trying to change us and mold us into something we're not. All we truly have is each other. Phones will break and die, computers will come and go and instant messaging just makes you feel like a stranger.
You want to feel alive? You want to stop feeling like you're alone in a vast desert? Well... be old-fashioned... if you will.
Start by making the people you care for feel loved and important. Stop making them feel like an option instead of a priority.
In the end, when there's nothing left and you're sad, alone and filled with regret you'll wish you had tried a little harder, been a little nicer, opened your heart a little bit more and lived.
Till next time...
People have stopped saying what they mean and their actions only reinforce how dishonest they are being with themselves and with you. A man will tell a woman he loves her but treat her like an acquaintance or a friend will say I'll always help you and runaway when you need them. What are we supposed to believe when words seem to have no meaning anymore? We hide behind our computer screens and Iphones as if they were armor. Nobody is capable of making a phone call instead sending empty messages filled with empty words.
If you want to have valuable relationships with people don't define them by what they say but by their actions. We live in a difficult world that's constantly trying to change us and mold us into something we're not. All we truly have is each other. Phones will break and die, computers will come and go and instant messaging just makes you feel like a stranger.
You want to feel alive? You want to stop feeling like you're alone in a vast desert? Well... be old-fashioned... if you will.
Start by making the people you care for feel loved and important. Stop making them feel like an option instead of a priority.
In the end, when there's nothing left and you're sad, alone and filled with regret you'll wish you had tried a little harder, been a little nicer, opened your heart a little bit more and lived.
Till next time...
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