The question that puzzles the entire world: what is happiness? It varies for every person. For some it could be having loads of money in the bank, for others it could be finding the ideal partner or starting a family. All in all, we tend to think that it's something external that will make us feel like we are not alone.
Let's examine this conclusion. If you take newlyweds, for instance, they are in love in the beginning and share countless hopes and dreams. They feel that they will have a partner and a friend to hold their hand as they walk down the road of life. Fast forward ten years. The husband is usually working till late at night to support his housewife and their two children. The stress levels are off the charts and they acknowledge one another's presence in passing or at the dinner table. Intimacy has been flushed down the toilet and there never seems to be any time or energy to do the things they used to love together. Nobody is happy and someone may have an affair or decide that being alone is what happiness really is. To be left alone by all... how ironic.
Another common scenario is the man who works like a mule until he can proudly state that he is rich. He has been so consumed by greed and power that he really doesn't have any real friends... at least not any he can call at 4 in the morning. Paranoia has probably settled in too since in his opinion everyone wants a piece of the action. You can usually find him in four star hotels, eating at an expensive Parisian cafe along the Seine or being enraged by his useless employees. At night when he comes home to his two million dollar mansion in his Bentley, he lays his head neurotic brain on the pillow and will fall asleep after taking a couple of sleeping pills. Guess what... he's alone and if there is another warm body by his side it's usually someone who's getting paid for their time or youth.
There are countless situations where we think that we have to chase for happiness or hunt it until we pretty much have one foot in the box heading six feet under. What is I told you that happiness lies within? That it never was about getting hitched with that waitress who has legs for days, or owning a home on every continent or being on the cover of as many magazines possible a month.
A wise man named Aristotle, you may have heard of him. believed that man can only achieve happiness by using all his abilities and capabilities. He said there were three forms of happiness.
1- A life of pleasure and enjoyment. Example: Watching the sunset or listening to your favorite music.
2- A life as a free and responsible citizen. Example: Treating others the same way you'd like to be treated.
3- A life as thinker and philosopher. Example: Realizing that we know nothing.
Aristotle emphasized that all three criteria must be present at the same time for man to find balance and fulfillment. Therefore, a harmonies life is when the mind, body and soul are in perfect unison. There's a reason why Buddhists are so peaceful.
Maybe if we stopped desperately searching for happiness and began enjoying life we would be... well we'd be in a hell of a lot better shape than we're in today. In the end, it's all about balance. Are you up for it or has your ship already sailed?
Till next time...
Totally agree, Cheyenne. Good examples. I know many of each type you describe and they are not what I would describe as happy, or even close to it. Mind, body and spirit all have to be functioning properly and in unison.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad we see eye to eye on that one Scott.
ReplyDeleteDouze petites leçons de bonheur
ReplyDeleteEst-ce que le bonheur, ça s’apprend ? Pas sûr ! En revanche, on peut prendre de bons réflexes pour ne pas faire bêtement son propre malheur (ou s’en faire beaucoup moins).
1. Suivre sa propre voie. Ne pas se sentir obligé de faire comme tout le monde, avoir ses propres exigences et d’y tenir.
2. Être ce que l’on est, ne pas chercher à se faire passer pour quelqu’un d’autre (sous prétexte qu’on ne nous aimera plus).
3. Jouir de ce que l’on a au lieu d’envier les autres, en imaginant qu’ils ont plus, mieux ou que l’herbe est plus verte ailleurs. Ca ne génère que des frustrations, de faux plaisirs.
4. Admirer les autres quand ça en vaut la peine (avoir des modèles d’exigence, ça donne envie de se surpasser), mais ne pas se comparer tout le temps aux eux. C’est le plus sûr moyen de gâcher son bonheur.
5. Faire ce que l’on aime (dans sa vie, son travail…), même si ça ne doit pas rendre spécialement plus riche ou plus important. On est toujours plus heureux dans ce cas-là.
6. Prendre le bonheur comme il vient (souvent par surprise) au lieu de lui courir comme tout nous y encourage, nous y oblige même (c’est bon pour la consommation) aujourd’hui.
7. Profiter du moment présent (au lieu d’avoir peur de perdre le bonheur). Par exemple, en se faisant tous les jours plaisir avec les gens qu’on aime. Le bonheur n’est pas dans le futur.
8. Se montrer bienveillant (coopérer autant que possible, chercher l’intérêt commun). La compétition (chercher à gagner à tout prix), la rivalité (chercher à battre l’autre) empoisonnent le bonheur.
9. Faire preuve de bonne volonté, même dans les situations décevantes ou conflictuelles. Chercher à améliorer les choses au lieu de se poser en « victime » (pleurnicher au lieu de faire valoir ses droits) ou en accusateur.
10. Relativiser (les frustrations, les contrariétés, les critiques, les reproches) au lieu de démarrer au quart de tour. Ne pas faire de tout un problème d’ego.
11. Se pardonner ses erreurs (au lieu de se juger durement), mais reconnaître ses torts pour les corriger. Ceux qui nient toujours leurs responsabilités sont des immatures ou des manipulateurs.
12. Penser au bonheur des autres. On est toujours plus heureux quand les autres le sont aussi ou, pour le moins, ne sont pas trop malheureux.
Merci Gilles. I appreciate you taking the time to write something so meaningful. I especially like number 11.
ReplyDelete