This is not a film about flowers blooming in the summer, romantic carriage rides in the fall or watching sunsets in an exotic far off land. This is a story filled with remorse, pain, anguish, desperation and massive amounts of self destruction and isolation. It's a shot of the strongest tequila, with no salt or lime to make its rawness sweeter. "Shame" is no picnic and if you're looking to watch a story that will give you butterflies or titillate your intellect you will be disappointed. The only thing you feel is a painful void, as if you've been punched in the stomach by a Viking.
This is the type of film society needs. We need to see what's truly going on in the world and the truth is most definitely revealed in this tale about Brandon Sullivan, a successful New Yorker, played by a brilliant Michael Fassbender, and his frightening sex addiction. Despite his rather cool and composed demeanor, he is drowning in a river of sexual torment and loneliness. His addiction has replaced the few important factors in life, one being Sissy, his self destructive sister, played by a disheveled Carey Mulligan, who only wants him to love her. Fassbender is emotionally crippled by his affliction and the only way he seems to feel alive is when there is zero intimacy involved. No pillow talk, no first date, no sharing common interests...just sex. And by sex, I mean a hungry, frantic, hard-boiled kind of sex. The kind you fantasize about yet are embarrassed to talk about.
With the arrival of his disorderly sister, he sinks deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole of emotional deterioration. There is no solace for him anywhere in his personal life, except between the thighs of strangers and other "night walkers" like himself. There's a scene in the film where he goes running at night, as if he's trying to escape his curse. There's no running away from it, though. One glance from a pretty redhead on the subway, and as Kings of Leon so eloquently put it, his "sex is on fire."
I won't go into any details regarding the plot but I will tell you that this haunting film will leave you thirsty for someone to talk to. It may be too "European" of a movie for some, since a question mark replaces the period of the final scene and the sex scenes are brutally explicit but funnily enough possess an inexplicable grace, like that of a gazelle being chased by a ravenous lion.
There is no shame in this film...just truth.
Till next time...
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
LONGING TO RETURN TO THE REALM OF THE SOUL
The only way to avoid floating in a vacuum is to remove all the unnecessary clutter we cling to...especially people. Why do we need others to make us feel of value? Is it really that important what your neighbor thinks? Are you going to die a terrible death if you disappear from society to work on yourself or discover new lands? God forbid no one sees you every day at the gym to reassure you that your abs are"totally hot." This constant need for other people's approval drives me insane. We used to have icons like Socrates, Ernest Hemingway(whom I constantly mention), Shakespeare and Mozart that couldn't care less what the public thought. This is what made them great and stand out from the zombies surrounding them. Today, we seem to feel more and more insecure and our only remedy for our decaying self-worth is for applause from people that wouldn't take a second glance at you if you were starving on the street. We forget who really matters. We tend to neglect the ones that love us despite the darkness and poison within us that emerges from time to time. We take the Kings and Queens of this game called LIFE for granted and drench the common pawns surrounding us with our pleading eyes that read: PLEASE LIKE ME.
Make enemies...it's good for the soul and if you don't have any you've never stood for anything. I often say all my friends are dead.... because the most powerful men and women that are remembered today and idolized were the outcasts...the rejects...the flawed. Please dare to be different and flush this ridiculous appetite for the world's approval down the toilet. I guarantee you will be remembered if you dare to be different and piss off one or two people. Try to disengage yourself from useless pride, vanity and greed. The path less chosen bears greater fruit...but do you have what it takes?
Till next time...
Make enemies...it's good for the soul and if you don't have any you've never stood for anything. I often say all my friends are dead.... because the most powerful men and women that are remembered today and idolized were the outcasts...the rejects...the flawed. Please dare to be different and flush this ridiculous appetite for the world's approval down the toilet. I guarantee you will be remembered if you dare to be different and piss off one or two people. Try to disengage yourself from useless pride, vanity and greed. The path less chosen bears greater fruit...but do you have what it takes?
Till next time...
Monday, March 21, 2011
HOW SOON IS NOW?
Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know that so it
goes on flying anyway. What prevents us from being somebody? It's ourselves. From the moment we're born we are told what is right and wrong. What is good and what is evil. What society accepts and what it denies. All these ideas are pushed down our throats and sooner or later we feel like we're in an airport waiting for a plane that seems to never come. The eternal stand-by.
The mind is capable of many great things. We've imagined and created the impossible and the improbable. We've gone to the moon, sailed across oceans, discovered cures, climbed mountains technologically speaking and created wonders of beauty from cathedrals to symphonies to literary masterpieces. But why this nagging, downward internal pull that anchors us to the depths of our own fears? It's so simple to break the chains that cripple us. How can we let our minds prevent us from blooming? It's not about who makes the most money or who has the most enviable home. What we have shouldn't define our success yet we seem to constantly accumulate random things that fill a void that will never go away.
It's because we're not aiming for the right things. We aim low and assume that the best things in life like love, intelligence, growth, friendship even, are impossible so we might as well be miserable bastards and blame the world for our misfortunes. The day we realize that we are not victims but responsible for our own lives today will be our own personal Judgement Day. There's so much to accomplish yet fear blinds us to the point that we may as well have one foot in the box because we've stopped living... we're simply surviving.
Learn how to live. Feed your head, your heart and your soul. Be greedy when it comes to your internal fruition because no one else will do it for you. Sure they'll tell you what you want to hear and smile pointlessly but that's about as good as it gets. It's not a harsh realization it's just an observation. Have you ever been in a wheelchair? Well, I have and there's going to come a time when the nurse will stop pushing you, feeding you, applauding your daily improvements and holding your hand while you go to the bathroom. You better learn very quickly how to maneuver that chair and how to make yourself even more visible than everyone else. Unfortunately, it's only when are livelihoods are threatened that we stop and say... Uh oh... I probably should do something because Mother isn't going to pat me on the back and make my troubles go away with reassurance.
I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable and racked with sorrow,
but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing. The phrase it's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything may sound cool coming from Brad Pitt... but you're not Brad Pitt are you? So stop waiting for life to eat you alive and bite it in the ass first. Don't just seize the day... seize your life. It ain't over till it's over...
goes on flying anyway. What prevents us from being somebody? It's ourselves. From the moment we're born we are told what is right and wrong. What is good and what is evil. What society accepts and what it denies. All these ideas are pushed down our throats and sooner or later we feel like we're in an airport waiting for a plane that seems to never come. The eternal stand-by.
The mind is capable of many great things. We've imagined and created the impossible and the improbable. We've gone to the moon, sailed across oceans, discovered cures, climbed mountains technologically speaking and created wonders of beauty from cathedrals to symphonies to literary masterpieces. But why this nagging, downward internal pull that anchors us to the depths of our own fears? It's so simple to break the chains that cripple us. How can we let our minds prevent us from blooming? It's not about who makes the most money or who has the most enviable home. What we have shouldn't define our success yet we seem to constantly accumulate random things that fill a void that will never go away.
It's because we're not aiming for the right things. We aim low and assume that the best things in life like love, intelligence, growth, friendship even, are impossible so we might as well be miserable bastards and blame the world for our misfortunes. The day we realize that we are not victims but responsible for our own lives today will be our own personal Judgement Day. There's so much to accomplish yet fear blinds us to the point that we may as well have one foot in the box because we've stopped living... we're simply surviving.
Learn how to live. Feed your head, your heart and your soul. Be greedy when it comes to your internal fruition because no one else will do it for you. Sure they'll tell you what you want to hear and smile pointlessly but that's about as good as it gets. It's not a harsh realization it's just an observation. Have you ever been in a wheelchair? Well, I have and there's going to come a time when the nurse will stop pushing you, feeding you, applauding your daily improvements and holding your hand while you go to the bathroom. You better learn very quickly how to maneuver that chair and how to make yourself even more visible than everyone else. Unfortunately, it's only when are livelihoods are threatened that we stop and say... Uh oh... I probably should do something because Mother isn't going to pat me on the back and make my troubles go away with reassurance.
I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable and racked with sorrow,
but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing. The phrase it's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything may sound cool coming from Brad Pitt... but you're not Brad Pitt are you? So stop waiting for life to eat you alive and bite it in the ass first. Don't just seize the day... seize your life. It ain't over till it's over...
Monday, December 13, 2010
One Art by Elizabeth Bishop
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster,
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three beloved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
-- Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) a disaster.
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster,
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three beloved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
-- Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) a disaster.
Monday, October 11, 2010
RAZZLE DAZZLE
They say there's no place like Hollywood. It's the land of beautiful people,
Malibu beach homes and never-ending bank accounts.
You too can be a star here. All you have to do, is jump on the first Greyhound
bus and arrive with fifty bucks in your pocket and dedication.
This is what they want you to believe, the illusion. You have the same chances
of becoming the next Julia Roberts as Bill Clinton does of being re-elected.
This is not the land of Mickey Mouse and "Pretty Woman." Oh no, it's more like
Stephen King's next novel.
Xanax is the new Vitamin C and cocaine has given new meaning to "powdering your
nose."
Teenage girls already look like they could replace Kathleen Turner in a remake
of "Body Heat" and every Beverly Hills mansion holds a dirty, little secret.
It's an orgy of champagne, false hope and blowjobs... but remember to smile.
Sunset Blvd. is the stairway to heaven thy say but it's more of a quick descent
into Hell.
So, want to be a movie star?
Malibu beach homes and never-ending bank accounts.
You too can be a star here. All you have to do, is jump on the first Greyhound
bus and arrive with fifty bucks in your pocket and dedication.
This is what they want you to believe, the illusion. You have the same chances
of becoming the next Julia Roberts as Bill Clinton does of being re-elected.
This is not the land of Mickey Mouse and "Pretty Woman." Oh no, it's more like
Stephen King's next novel.
Xanax is the new Vitamin C and cocaine has given new meaning to "powdering your
nose."
Teenage girls already look like they could replace Kathleen Turner in a remake
of "Body Heat" and every Beverly Hills mansion holds a dirty, little secret.
It's an orgy of champagne, false hope and blowjobs... but remember to smile.
Sunset Blvd. is the stairway to heaven thy say but it's more of a quick descent
into Hell.
So, want to be a movie star?
Friday, October 8, 2010
LONELY HEARTS
We're all born alone and we will all die alone. Fact. Plain and simple. There's nothing depressing or morbid about that. We're not pack animals, crayons or eggs. What we do in between life and death though, is a completely different matter. One of the biggest complaints I constantly hear is: "I'm so alone." Most of the time it's because you deserve to be. Sorry if I hurt your feelings but this isn't recess in kindergarden and crying and whining won't win you a goldfish. So stop feeling sorry for yourself and listen. Those of you who are thinking you haven't got all day are seriously delusional because how can you not have all day?! If the President has time to go to a Lakers game and enjoy a beer and a smoke then you have to time to do a little reading and self-reflection.
First of all, we have to stop lying to ourselves. Who you lie to is your business but you should NEVER convince yourself that everything is peachy and justify your troubles by blaming the world. I got fired because my boss is an asshole. Maybe you just didn't do your job very well and spent more time memorizing GQ's annual Hot 100 list. My girlfriend/boyfriend dumped me because they're crazy. Maybe you were a royal pain and fleeing was their only option. I gained twenty pounds because my schedule is hectic and I don't have time to cook healthy meals. Well you clearly have time to eat. These are just a few examples of how we lie to ourselves on a daily basis. I'm not pointing fingers or accusing anyone in particular so before you get all hot and bothered just remember this is my opinion and an overall generalization.
We seem to be so worried about our appearance, our jobs, our social lives and finances that we neglect our internal growth. We start things we don't finish, we jump to conclusions because of our ignorance and we end up living a life that lacks any depth. Look at your circle of friends. Who we surround ourselves with plays a huge role in our day to day mindset. People tend to have what I like to call the deadly combo: hypocrisy and cowardice. I can't tell you how many people I've met who are so blinded by their own bullshit that it becomes absolutely hopeless to even try and help. Lately, I've noticed that in the dating world people are so desperate that they'll date their worst nightmare. You can't change people. If you think that 40 year old has- been you met at a bar, who may have had a cute ass twenty years ago is going to give you foot massages and listen to your problems.... think again. They will use you, abuse you mentally and drain you of the last remaining fragments of sanity left floating around your head. Punishing ourselves because we think we can't do better goes hand in hand with lying to ourselves. Subconsciously, we know we're doing things that don't make us happy or not trying hard enough so like a good human being we reward ourselves with toxicity. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. If you don't like someone.. tell them!!! If a situation is making you uncomfortable... change it!!!!! Stop compromising for all the wrong reasons and try to get everyone to like you. It's a positive thing if you have some enemies. It means you've stood up for yourself. What are you so afraid of? People say they fear death but in fact... it's life they fear.
If only we'd be honest with ourselves and stop living a lie then maybe we wouldn't be so angry all the time. Stop blaming others. Most of the time it's your own damn fault and you know it. Be somebody. Open your heart before there's nothing left and open your mind. There's no big mystery to life. Stop living in fear and take a chance. That little "alone" problem will vanish before you know it because once you've faced your worst enemy ( YOU) then the rest won't seem like a Haunted House. Besides, who says headless horsemen and zombies are boring? ill next time...
First of all, we have to stop lying to ourselves. Who you lie to is your business but you should NEVER convince yourself that everything is peachy and justify your troubles by blaming the world. I got fired because my boss is an asshole. Maybe you just didn't do your job very well and spent more time memorizing GQ's annual Hot 100 list. My girlfriend/boyfriend dumped me because they're crazy. Maybe you were a royal pain and fleeing was their only option. I gained twenty pounds because my schedule is hectic and I don't have time to cook healthy meals. Well you clearly have time to eat. These are just a few examples of how we lie to ourselves on a daily basis. I'm not pointing fingers or accusing anyone in particular so before you get all hot and bothered just remember this is my opinion and an overall generalization.
We seem to be so worried about our appearance, our jobs, our social lives and finances that we neglect our internal growth. We start things we don't finish, we jump to conclusions because of our ignorance and we end up living a life that lacks any depth. Look at your circle of friends. Who we surround ourselves with plays a huge role in our day to day mindset. People tend to have what I like to call the deadly combo: hypocrisy and cowardice. I can't tell you how many people I've met who are so blinded by their own bullshit that it becomes absolutely hopeless to even try and help. Lately, I've noticed that in the dating world people are so desperate that they'll date their worst nightmare. You can't change people. If you think that 40 year old has- been you met at a bar, who may have had a cute ass twenty years ago is going to give you foot massages and listen to your problems.... think again. They will use you, abuse you mentally and drain you of the last remaining fragments of sanity left floating around your head. Punishing ourselves because we think we can't do better goes hand in hand with lying to ourselves. Subconsciously, we know we're doing things that don't make us happy or not trying hard enough so like a good human being we reward ourselves with toxicity. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. If you don't like someone.. tell them!!! If a situation is making you uncomfortable... change it!!!!! Stop compromising for all the wrong reasons and try to get everyone to like you. It's a positive thing if you have some enemies. It means you've stood up for yourself. What are you so afraid of? People say they fear death but in fact... it's life they fear.
If only we'd be honest with ourselves and stop living a lie then maybe we wouldn't be so angry all the time. Stop blaming others. Most of the time it's your own damn fault and you know it. Be somebody. Open your heart before there's nothing left and open your mind. There's no big mystery to life. Stop living in fear and take a chance. That little "alone" problem will vanish before you know it because once you've faced your worst enemy ( YOU) then the rest won't seem like a Haunted House. Besides, who says headless horsemen and zombies are boring? ill next time...
Friday, July 16, 2010
EMPTY WORDS
I've recently realized that you can't trust people's words anymore. It seems that they will either tell you what you want to hear, lie to avoid confrontation, make you believe they're something they're not or sugarcoat everything to keep you around because in some bizarre way they want you around. These are just a few examples and I'm not saying everyone is like this but a good portion of people, whether they realize it or not, sadly are.
People have stopped saying what they mean and their actions only reinforce how dishonest they are being with themselves and with you. A man will tell a woman he loves her but treat her like an acquaintance or a friend will say I'll always help you and runaway when you need them. What are we supposed to believe when words seem to have no meaning anymore? We hide behind our computer screens and Iphones as if they were armor. Nobody is capable of making a phone call instead sending empty messages filled with empty words.
If you want to have valuable relationships with people don't define them by what they say but by their actions. We live in a difficult world that's constantly trying to change us and mold us into something we're not. All we truly have is each other. Phones will break and die, computers will come and go and instant messaging just makes you feel like a stranger.
You want to feel alive? You want to stop feeling like you're alone in a vast desert? Well... be old-fashioned... if you will.
Start by making the people you care for feel loved and important. Stop making them feel like an option instead of a priority.
In the end, when there's nothing left and you're sad, alone and filled with regret you'll wish you had tried a little harder, been a little nicer, opened your heart a little bit more and lived.
Till next time...
People have stopped saying what they mean and their actions only reinforce how dishonest they are being with themselves and with you. A man will tell a woman he loves her but treat her like an acquaintance or a friend will say I'll always help you and runaway when you need them. What are we supposed to believe when words seem to have no meaning anymore? We hide behind our computer screens and Iphones as if they were armor. Nobody is capable of making a phone call instead sending empty messages filled with empty words.
If you want to have valuable relationships with people don't define them by what they say but by their actions. We live in a difficult world that's constantly trying to change us and mold us into something we're not. All we truly have is each other. Phones will break and die, computers will come and go and instant messaging just makes you feel like a stranger.
You want to feel alive? You want to stop feeling like you're alone in a vast desert? Well... be old-fashioned... if you will.
Start by making the people you care for feel loved and important. Stop making them feel like an option instead of a priority.
In the end, when there's nothing left and you're sad, alone and filled with regret you'll wish you had tried a little harder, been a little nicer, opened your heart a little bit more and lived.
Till next time...
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