LONELY HEARTS

We're all born alone and we will all die alone. Fact. Plain and simple. There's nothing depressing or morbid about that. We're not pack animals, crayons or eggs. What we do in between life and death though, is a completely different matter. One of the biggest complaints I constantly hear is: "I'm so alone." Most of the time it's because you deserve to be. Sorry if I hurt your feelings but this isn't recess in kindergarden and crying and whining won't win you a goldfish. So stop feeling sorry for yourself and listen. Those of you who are thinking you haven't got all day are seriously delusional because how can you not have all day?! If the President has time to go to a Lakers game and enjoy a beer and a smoke then you have to time to do a little reading and self-reflection.

First of all, we have to stop lying to ourselves. Who you lie to is your business but you should NEVER convince yourself that everything is peachy and justify your troubles by blaming the world. I got fired because my boss is an asshole. Maybe you just didn't do your job very well and spent more time memorizing GQ's annual Hot 100 list. My girlfriend/boyfriend dumped me because they're crazy. Maybe you were a royal pain and fleeing was their only option. I gained twenty pounds because my schedule is hectic and I don't have time to cook healthy meals. Well you clearly have time to eat. These are just a few examples of how we lie to ourselves on a daily basis. I'm not pointing fingers or accusing anyone in particular so before you get all hot and bothered just remember this is my opinion and an overall generalization.

We seem to be so worried about our appearance, our jobs, our social lives and finances that we neglect our internal growth. We start things we don't finish, we jump to conclusions because of our ignorance and we end up living a life that lacks any depth. Look at your circle of friends. Who we surround ourselves with plays a huge role in our day to day mindset. People tend to have what I like to call the deadly combo: hypocrisy and cowardice. I can't tell you how many people I've met who are so blinded by their own bullshit that it becomes absolutely hopeless to even try and help. Lately, I've noticed that in the dating world people are so desperate that they'll date their worst nightmare. You can't change people. If you think that 40 year old has- been you met at a bar, who may have had a cute ass twenty years ago is going to give you foot massages and listen to your problems.... think again. They will use you, abuse you mentally and drain you of the last remaining fragments of sanity left floating around your head. Punishing ourselves because we think we can't do better goes hand in hand with lying to ourselves. Subconsciously, we know we're doing things that don't make us happy or not trying hard enough so like a good human being we reward ourselves with toxicity. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. If you don't like someone.. tell them!!! If a situation is making you uncomfortable... change it!!!!! Stop compromising for all the wrong reasons and try to get everyone to like you. It's a positive thing if you have some enemies. It means you've stood up for yourself. What are you so afraid of? People say they fear death but in fact... it's life they fear.

If only we'd be honest with ourselves and stop living a lie then maybe we wouldn't be so angry all the time. Stop blaming others. Most of the time it's your own damn fault and you know it. Be somebody. Open your heart before there's nothing left and open your mind. There's no big mystery to life. Stop living in fear and take a chance. That little "alone" problem will vanish before you know it because once you've faced your worst enemy ( YOU) then the rest won't seem like a Haunted House. Besides, who says headless horsemen and zombies are boring? ill next time...

EMPTY WORDS

I've recently realized that you can't trust people's words anymore. It seems that they will either tell you what you want to hear, lie to avoid confrontation, make you believe they're something they're not or sugarcoat everything to keep you around because in some bizarre way they want you around. These are just a few examples and I'm not saying everyone is like this but a good portion of people, whether they realize it or not, sadly are.
People have stopped saying what they mean and their actions only reinforce how dishonest they are being with themselves and with you. A man will tell a woman he loves her but treat her like an acquaintance or a friend will say I'll always help you and runaway when you need them. What are we supposed to believe when words seem to have no meaning anymore? We hide behind our computer screens and Iphones as if they were armor. Nobody is capable of making a phone call instead sending empty messages filled with empty words.
If you want to have valuable relationships with people don't define them by what they say but by their actions. We live in a difficult world that's constantly trying to change us and mold us into something we're not. All we truly have is each other. Phones will break and die, computers will come and go and instant messaging just makes you feel like a stranger.
You want to feel alive? You want to stop feeling like you're alone in a vast desert? Well... be old-fashioned... if you will.
Start by making the people you care for feel loved and important. Stop making them feel like an option instead of a priority.
In the end, when there's nothing left and you're sad, alone and filled with regret you'll wish you had tried a little harder, been a little nicer, opened your heart a little bit more and lived.
Till next time...